Ode to Anxiety
You are welcome here to stay
My best friend, yet another day
Since early age you`ve been with me
I cannot live without you, see?
As sisters, we have been so close
This bond cannot be broken, I suppose
We are both stuck with each other
Like you, I`ll never find another
I wake with you, I fall asleep
It is ingrained, so deep
Our painful history, so long
Our bond unbreakable and strong
You wait for me, I take my time
It has been working fine
Our lovely coexistence
I do make sure, there won`t be any distance
Between us, no, no way!
My true companion, through every painful day
I`ve tried to be with others, yes
Like joy, and laughter, but I must confess
Those empty shadows, they were so much less
It seems my modus operandi is to get depressed
That`s why it never worked at all
You`re always there, when I hit the wall
Whatever happens, I know that I am cared for
It feels the worst I am prepared for
Every day you do your best and more
It won`t be fair of me to let you go
You have done so much for me
I owe you, my darkest destiny
Nobody compares to you at all
Your ways are truly wonderful, you have a soul!
I have a question though, you take a lot of space
It`s my attention you demand, and my embrace
I know that we depend completely on each other
You have become almost my mother
I wish one day you could be flesh and bone
As I`ve been feeling so terribly alone
Invisible you have been here with me
it seems you`ll never quit me
I talk to you all night and day
There isn`t much you`d ever say
It`s quiet, but I can feel your presence
No, I haven’t learned my lessons!
Not yet, the distances are huge, and I must go
My job has been to crawl and crawl
For miles, to any destination rare
With you my journey I will share
Although by crawling one cannot get far
Wait! I`m in a corner, stuck, I am a pickle in a jar!
It is for you that I do live
And my commitment here is to give
My life, and soul, and flesh
With whom else otherwise should I get enmeshed?
Because of you, I have achieved, and gained
My fortunes vast, I have obtained
I cannot say that wisdom is among them
I cannot say that I would ever grow to love them
You teach me and you care
Of that I`m well aware
Sometimes I wish that I could tear you off my skin
Like the extra layer of me, that is invisible and thin
I take a breath, and I go back
To my workroom, to my stack
To find the best present, that seems much fitting
To honour you, as neither do I feel like quitting
And so the days go by, the minutes
Through presents we are to win it
The next round, and the next few too
Each sacrifice might lead to a breakthrough
And I feel so fulfilled, I do
You are with me to help me through
You have been there for me with advice
You take care of me, my wicked vice
It`s so cozy by your side
Promise that you`ll stay with me, alright?
You`ve nestled next to me on my sofa
All I can imagine here is my coffin
All suggestions to avoid it, everything I follow
Though it would mean in constant misery to wallow
The crazy thing about you is
That my existence, it would cease
It is you who controls my breathing
My steps, my gaze, my actions, leading
You tell me whether I should eat
Or whether people I should meet
You have in mind your best intentions
You follow all the best conventions
Because of you, I`ve never tripped
I trust you are the best companion to keep
The thrill of living on my own
It scares me, although I`ve outgrown
My childhood clothes
And I have lost all of my hopes
It is the same, my imagination and my skittish mind
I live for your protection kind
You make sure that I have a roof
You make sure, when they are aloof
That I have something to survive on
That I get food and shelter, comforts I can thrive on
My best friend, who through life has been
My dearest anxiety within
I cherish you, I love you dearly
You gave me solace when they threatened me severely
Because of you, I have not been cold
You were my saviour when I was almost sold
You were my mother, father, relatives that should have cared
But instead they pointed fingers at me, laughed at me, and stared
You are the reason for my survival
You are my life, my continual revival!
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