Ode to Anxiety

 

You are welcome here to stay

My best friend, yet another day

Since early age you`ve been with me

I cannot live without you, see?

As sisters, we have been so close

This bond cannot be broken, I suppose

We are both stuck with each other

Like you, I`ll never find another 

I wake with you, I fall asleep 

It is ingrained, so deep

Our painful history, so long

Our bond unbreakable and strong

You wait for me, I take my time

It has been working fine

Our lovely coexistence

I do make sure, there won`t be any distance

Between us, no, no way!

My true companion, through every painful day

I`ve tried to be with others, yes

Like joy, and laughter, but I must confess

Those empty shadows, they were so much less

It seems my modus operandi is to get depressed

That`s why it never worked at all

You`re always there, when I hit the wall

Whatever happens, I know that I am cared for

It feels the worst I am prepared for

Every day you do your best and more

It won`t be fair of me to let you go  

You have done so much for me

I owe you, my darkest destiny

Nobody compares to you at all

Your ways are truly wonderful, you have a soul!

I have a question though, you take a lot of space

It`s my attention you demand, and my embrace

I know that we depend completely on each other

You have become almost my mother

I wish one day you could be flesh and bone

As I`ve been feeling so terribly alone

Invisible you have been here with me

it seems you`ll never quit me

I talk to you all night and day

There isn`t much you`d ever say

It`s quiet, but I can feel your presence

No, I haven’t learned my lessons!

Not yet, the distances are huge, and I must go

My job has been to crawl and crawl

For miles, to any destination rare

With you my journey I will share

Although by crawling one cannot get far

Wait! I`m in a corner, stuck, I am a pickle in a jar!

It is for you that I do live

And my commitment here is to give

My life, and soul, and flesh

With whom else otherwise should I get enmeshed?

Because of you, I have achieved, and gained

My fortunes vast, I have obtained

I cannot say that wisdom is among them

I cannot say that I would ever grow to love them

You teach me and you care

Of that I`m well aware

Sometimes I wish that I could tear you off my skin

Like the extra layer of me, that is invisible and thin

I take a breath, and I go back

To my workroom, to my stack

To find the best present, that seems much fitting

To honour you, as neither do I feel like quitting

And so the days go by, the minutes

Through presents we are to win it

The next round, and the next few too

Each sacrifice might lead to a breakthrough 

And I feel so fulfilled, I do

You are with me to help me through

You have been there for me with advice

You take care of me, my wicked vice

It`s so cozy by your side

Promise that you`ll stay with me, alright?

You`ve nestled next to me on my sofa

All I can imagine here is my coffin

All suggestions to avoid it, everything I follow

Though it would mean in constant misery to wallow

The crazy thing about you is

That my existence, it would cease

It is you who controls my breathing

My steps, my gaze, my actions, leading

You tell me whether I should eat

Or whether people I should meet

You have in mind your best intentions

You follow all the best conventions 

Because of you, I`ve never tripped

I trust you are the best companion to keep

The thrill of living on my own

It scares me, although I`ve outgrown

My childhood clothes

And I have lost all of my hopes

It is the same, my imagination and my skittish mind

I live for your protection kind

You make sure that I have a roof

You make sure, when they are aloof

That I have something to survive on

That I get food and shelter, comforts I can thrive on

My best friend, who through life has been

My dearest anxiety within

I cherish you, I love you dearly

You gave me solace when they threatened me severely

Because of you, I have not been cold

You were my saviour when I was almost sold

You were my mother, father, relatives that should have cared

But instead they pointed fingers at me, laughed at me, and stared

You are the reason for my survival

You are my life, my continual revival!

Copyright ©thescribblerinthebooth

Audio Block
Double-click here to upload or link to a .mp3. Learn more
 
Previous
Previous

Colours

Next
Next

The Friend