Albert the Librarian and the Gods of Paperwork

The Adventures of Albert the Librarian - part 1

Inspired by true events

The book is something holy, out-worldly

The book worms hate to see the pages curly

It is a sacrilege, a sheer crime

Against something so utterly divine!

Among the worshipers there was

Our friend, who to the naked eye seemed pretty lost

An employee at the library, a local branch

Who was a book worm, totally entrenched

The library it was the place to be

Where else he otherwise would want to be?

He was a nerd, so just in case

He felt he had to always justify his ways.

By coincidence he thought he got the job

The best for which one could ever hope

Or so he thought, he was convinced

It didn’t matter any more, not ever since

The books were all he wanted, ever needed

Making friends with villains, good guys, he succeeded 

By random conversations and small talk

He felt improvement, which came as shock 

Sometimes he had to rub his eyes

When he heard those mournful cries

The fairies would fly by, not all of them were slim or fine

Characters from different books, sometimes confined

In castles, towers, tombs

And sometimes, caves, and scary mountains loomed

It was so weird, they were centuries apart

Somehow it happened here, pure art?

It was a haunted place, a place of wonder

Sometimes he’d swear he could feel a thunder

Incredible it was indeed

Or maybe his imagination the reality unfit

But he could never tell about it

They would just mock him, they did without it

The frequency of occurrences, it was stunning

He was used to it, he often thought it funny

No longer visiting a doctor was considered

He hoped the universe would rather more deliver

A fellow crazy person, or a sign

that he was alright, he was fine!

He prided himself on his wild imagination

He read all books here, with such patience

Through many sleepless nights, and all vacations, 

The Guardian, the Knowledge keeper

Unlike the rest of them - a sleeper

He was awake and he was here

Hoping he inspired awe and fear

Somehow important, so he thought

Like a cog in a machinery, a big shot

So he was told when he was “christened”

When the previous employee retired, which was recent

The sighs of great relief and joy, unforgettable

Albert thought that this display was almost unacceptable

It was a blessing, freedom, well-deserved

Leaving this post he felt so purged

Albert, he had accepted straight away 

Finally among friends, to his great dismay

It was like a wonderful vacation

Pure relaxation, incredible intoxication!

He did so diligently all his duties

He oftentimes forgot his food was cooking

People would come out of the kitchen yelling

Laziness in others was sometimes compelling

From then on he would bring a sandwich in his bag

At least a few big packs

Cause he would sit and eat next to his best friends

His lovers, children, on his life they would depend

He would protect them tooth and nail

He would do his best and never fail

And so the days went by, the nights as well

The others were so bored as hell

But he enjoyed himself a lot

Popular among the people, he was not

So he enjoyed the silence full of meaning

Often times he could hear whispers, screaming

Sometimes he witnessed big fights, weddings

Jousting knights and mournful ladies

All dressed in costumes, out of place

As if a theatre was on display

And he was an audience unique

The only one entitled to critique

One evening, as he was about to lock the door

There was a “swoosh”, and “boom”, and thud and “Oh”

Some sparks, some smoke, a man was lying on the floor

Looking startled, and a bit sore

Before he managed to react to the offence that on his face was showing

Off the shelf more books were falling

A booming voice came from behind the shelf

“Oh, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring the relatives as well”

A thick book fell on top of him, then a few more

Albert rushed to help, the man was breathing after all

He stood up, dusted himself off, his eyes roamed 

Then books flew back to their rightful homes

Although too scared, Albert managed to stay still

Another one of those weird library thrills

For which there was no explanation

Not even by the latest possible breakthrough in innovation

The booming voice from behind the shelf

Brought along a sturdy self

Who came closer, looking grave

Now, he was to explain himself, okay

There was a visitor two feet away, 

Open-mouthed, shaky hands, book down on its way

Towards the wooden dusty floor, 

But the man was quicker, from his hands he tore

The precious object, placed it gingerly onto the nearest stand

And then proceeded with a rant

Albert’s understanding skills needed much rebooting 

Especially when he was on the spot and needed soothing

Aggression, it was something that he could not handle

He was afraid he would be left in shambles

Contents were unintelligible here

This man was huge, a lot of reasons here to fear

The feeling of this strangeness sneaking in

He wasn’t ordinary creature, so it seemed

He was tall and handsome, masculine, not thin

What Albert’s mother wanted so for him

Except the height maybe, he too was tall

Compared to the ladies that he never managed to enthral

Yes, indeed the man was trying to explain

And obviously was a good negotiator, well-trained

But Albert had so many questions, welling

It was so weird, but compelling

“Look man” continuation in a friendly manner

“We have a problem here” his eyes two scanners

“The library”… “disaster”… “dumped”?

Albert’s heart was in his throat, huge lump

You cannot do this to the books? He said

“We think you know the truth” instead

The man proceeded with his booming voice

“Tell us, or else” - a chance for multiple choice

Being scorched to death by lightnings 

Or chewed alive by lions, both sounded frightening

But he could be creative too

As to the way he would want to lose

His life, and his possessions

Unless he offered his confessions

You can help us get the perpetrators

Those mindless, dumb invaders

“Me” squeaked Albert in a sheer desperation

“I don’t know, no chance!” Frustration.

He somehow had realised 

And swore to himself that next time

He would maintain a longer conversation

For the sake of obtaining more information 

He was intrigued, though, who could do this?

They had framed him, just like this!

A vehement discussion in his head

There was so much to dread

Another swoosh and boom and thump 

Which broke his train of thoughts, now he was stunned!

There was a lady young, petite, 

Just conjured herself up, she did

She looked foreign, as if she came from mars

Around her many floating, sparkling stars

Cancel the optician visit yesterday

Was it a good idea, anyway?

“Whats going on, my husband, dear?

You should have waited for me, do you hear!

This is my business, I have found this mishap

I will have the pleasure of talking to this nice chap ”

The husband scratched his head, not a word

His booming voice now pretty much unheard

It seemed that if a murder would have taken place

He would have nodded “yes“ into her face

The nagging was monotonous and dull

Occasionally you could hear a sulk

A dedicated woman, there was no doubt

And the guy was not allowed. 

Albert remembered his to-do list

Although, threatened, he felt also pissed

He had to lock the door, and clear the books away 

And go and switch the lights off, then check the trays…

She saw the lady turn to him, fist clenched

Last thought - hanging like a dead leaf on a branch 

Of women Albert was so petrified

Instead of talk to them, he would have rather died

Anyways it was too late to flee 

The option left - a tearful plea

A pair of determined blue eyes pierced through him

He felt a painful sting within

“The books” she said, he felt so cold

“You know who threw them in the dumpster, I was told “  

“Was that it?” he swallowed hard

No way he knew, is this a good start?

But she was adamant, of course

In her eyes there was no remorse. 

He was to drop dead on the floor

Would anyone come scoop him, would he be ignored?

Or maybe they would do, 

Already he was dead to them, it was the truth

He felt sorry for the books

A corpse would never do them any good

The “gatemen” thoughts came back to him

“No, no way he didn't mean!”

“Oh, yes” she said, answering his silent question

He wished it was a joke, the job, the fuss, and tensions

It dawned on him, it all made sense

No wonder the relief of the old chap was so intense

It was his job, it was his calling

Death will not be so completely boring

One day he may get a memorial

His life might be someone’s tutorial

So anyways, he was the one here on the spot

He tried to stand upright, he hoped he looked somewhat hot

If something happened, nobody would miss him

A tiny hope that they would at some point release him

All the senses opened up to her

Sobriety, and fearlessness, that randomly occur

Collectedness sometimes appeared out of the blur

He took a breath, demanded what the problems were

They were all gone, they disappeared

Exactly what he feared

A place nobody spoke or thought about

A place nobody went nor even joked about

But anyways, there was a “why”

Her features now inspired much less fright

Ready to negotiate, oh, yes, he was 

Explain, and serve, whatever else they chose

Among the gods, who would have thought?

But he still felt so caught

He felt in danger, scared and confined

This unpredictability and lack of time

The Gods of Paperwork, their strange attention

Although so flattering, induced severe hypertension

A newly found and felt importance here emerged

To win her - a determination also surged

Ears, eyes, they opened wide

Such eagerness, so hard to hide

“Relax” the husband said and so

though it was late, they were still standing in the main hall

“Ok” he said with hesitant determination

Although he noted her impatience

He felt his stomach rumble

“Could I have dinner first?” he asked a question humble

Awkward exchange of glances, silence

Approval materialising, and much needed guidance

“Tell me what to do and I will do it”

Ventured Albert, the Gatekeeper, so willing here to prove it

On his watch it all was done, they had insisted

He was guilty too, he had to be enlisted

In the search party of one

It was his job, and it had to be done

Of so many things he was unaware

“We will go slow” she said, amplified care

“We know that you are new and you don't know us”

We are the ones that you can trust, you can call us

The thing is, we cannot go there

This is the underworld, you just beware

The pass embedded is in your position

You are the chosen one, the one with mission

To protect, and care, for the books and papers

You are the one to fight invaders 

Intruders, wicked thieves

destroy those intricate, deceiving webs of lies they weave

You are our first choice. we cannot do without you

 Courage must be found inside you”

Astonishment resided on his face

How did he end up in this place?

This wasn't part of the job description

Why no information on such conscription?

Suddenly, a cloud of dust had risen

She was back yelling at her husband, “Listen”

Spots of muffled conversation

Thuds, and thumps, and booms they came, invasion

The sounds of pots and pans hitting the floor,

How did they end up in the library at all?

When he woke up, he just found

Random items lying spread around

Probably appearing from an unknown storage

Cleaning Friday night? He felt discouraged

All body parts seemed to be in place

In addition, large painful bump onto his face

He patted pockets various and searched

At some point he found himself on a shelf perched

But it was nowhere to be found

It had disappeared, no use to look around

Copyright ©thescribblerinthebooth