Albert the Librarian and the Gods of Paperwork
The Adventures of Albert the Librarian - part 1
Inspired by true events
The book is something holy, out-worldly
The book worms hate to see the pages curly
It is a sacrilege, a sheer crime
Against something so utterly divine!
Among the worshipers there was
Our friend, who to the naked eye seemed pretty lost
An employee at the library, a local branch
Who was a book worm, totally entrenched
The library it was the place to be
Where else he otherwise would want to be?
He was a nerd, so just in case
He felt he had to always justify his ways.
By coincidence he thought he got the job
The best for which one could ever hope
Or so he thought, he was convinced
It didn’t matter any more, not ever since
The books were all he wanted, ever needed
Making friends with villains, good guys, he succeeded
By random conversations and small talk
He felt improvement, which came as shock
Sometimes he had to rub his eyes
When he heard those mournful cries
The fairies would fly by, not all of them were slim or fine
Characters from different books, sometimes confined
In castles, towers, tombs
And sometimes, caves, and scary mountains loomed
It was so weird, they were centuries apart
Somehow it happened here, pure art?
It was a haunted place, a place of wonder
Sometimes he’d swear he could feel a thunder
Incredible it was indeed
Or maybe his imagination the reality unfit
But he could never tell about it
They would just mock him, they did without it
The frequency of occurrences, it was stunning
He was used to it, he often thought it funny
No longer visiting a doctor was considered
He hoped the universe would rather more deliver
A fellow crazy person, or a sign
that he was alright, he was fine!
He prided himself on his wild imagination
He read all books here, with such patience
Through many sleepless nights, and all vacations,
The Guardian, the Knowledge keeper
Unlike the rest of them - a sleeper
He was awake and he was here
Hoping he inspired awe and fear
Somehow important, so he thought
Like a cog in a machinery, a big shot
So he was told when he was “christened”
When the previous employee retired, which was recent
The sighs of great relief and joy, unforgettable
Albert thought that this display was almost unacceptable
It was a blessing, freedom, well-deserved
Leaving this post he felt so purged
Albert, he had accepted straight away
Finally among friends, to his great dismay
It was like a wonderful vacation
Pure relaxation, incredible intoxication!
He did so diligently all his duties
He oftentimes forgot his food was cooking
People would come out of the kitchen yelling
Laziness in others was sometimes compelling
From then on he would bring a sandwich in his bag
At least a few big packs
Cause he would sit and eat next to his best friends
His lovers, children, on his life they would depend
He would protect them tooth and nail
He would do his best and never fail
And so the days went by, the nights as well
The others were so bored as hell
But he enjoyed himself a lot
Popular among the people, he was not
So he enjoyed the silence full of meaning
Often times he could hear whispers, screaming
Sometimes he witnessed big fights, weddings
Jousting knights and mournful ladies
All dressed in costumes, out of place
As if a theatre was on display
And he was an audience unique
The only one entitled to critique
One evening, as he was about to lock the door
There was a “swoosh”, and “boom”, and thud and “Oh”
Some sparks, some smoke, a man was lying on the floor
Looking startled, and a bit sore
Before he managed to react to the offence that on his face was showing
Off the shelf more books were falling
A booming voice came from behind the shelf
“Oh, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring the relatives as well”
A thick book fell on top of him, then a few more
Albert rushed to help, the man was breathing after all
He stood up, dusted himself off, his eyes roamed
Then books flew back to their rightful homes
Although too scared, Albert managed to stay still
Another one of those weird library thrills
For which there was no explanation
Not even by the latest possible breakthrough in innovation
The booming voice from behind the shelf
Brought along a sturdy self
Who came closer, looking grave
Now, he was to explain himself, okay
There was a visitor two feet away,
Open-mouthed, shaky hands, book down on its way
Towards the wooden dusty floor,
But the man was quicker, from his hands he tore
The precious object, placed it gingerly onto the nearest stand
And then proceeded with a rant
Albert’s understanding skills needed much rebooting
Especially when he was on the spot and needed soothing
Aggression, it was something that he could not handle
He was afraid he would be left in shambles
Contents were unintelligible here
This man was huge, a lot of reasons here to fear
The feeling of this strangeness sneaking in
He wasn’t ordinary creature, so it seemed
He was tall and handsome, masculine, not thin
What Albert’s mother wanted so for him
Except the height maybe, he too was tall
Compared to the ladies that he never managed to enthral
Yes, indeed the man was trying to explain
And obviously was a good negotiator, well-trained
But Albert had so many questions, welling
It was so weird, but compelling
“Look man” continuation in a friendly manner
“We have a problem here” his eyes two scanners
“The library”… “disaster”… “dumped”?
Albert’s heart was in his throat, huge lump
You cannot do this to the books? He said
“We think you know the truth” instead
The man proceeded with his booming voice
“Tell us, or else” - a chance for multiple choice
Being scorched to death by lightnings
Or chewed alive by lions, both sounded frightening
But he could be creative too
As to the way he would want to lose
His life, and his possessions
Unless he offered his confessions
You can help us get the perpetrators
Those mindless, dumb invaders
“Me” squeaked Albert in a sheer desperation
“I don’t know, no chance!” Frustration.
He somehow had realised
And swore to himself that next time
He would maintain a longer conversation
For the sake of obtaining more information
He was intrigued, though, who could do this?
They had framed him, just like this!
A vehement discussion in his head
There was so much to dread
Another swoosh and boom and thump
Which broke his train of thoughts, now he was stunned!
There was a lady young, petite,
Just conjured herself up, she did
She looked foreign, as if she came from mars
Around her many floating, sparkling stars
Cancel the optician visit yesterday
Was it a good idea, anyway?
“Whats going on, my husband, dear?
You should have waited for me, do you hear!
This is my business, I have found this mishap
I will have the pleasure of talking to this nice chap ”
The husband scratched his head, not a word
His booming voice now pretty much unheard
It seemed that if a murder would have taken place
He would have nodded “yes“ into her face
The nagging was monotonous and dull
Occasionally you could hear a sulk
A dedicated woman, there was no doubt
And the guy was not allowed.
Albert remembered his to-do list
Although, threatened, he felt also pissed
He had to lock the door, and clear the books away
And go and switch the lights off, then check the trays…
She saw the lady turn to him, fist clenched
Last thought - hanging like a dead leaf on a branch
Of women Albert was so petrified
Instead of talk to them, he would have rather died
Anyways it was too late to flee
The option left - a tearful plea
A pair of determined blue eyes pierced through him
He felt a painful sting within
“The books” she said, he felt so cold
“You know who threw them in the dumpster, I was told “
“Was that it?” he swallowed hard
No way he knew, is this a good start?
But she was adamant, of course
In her eyes there was no remorse.
He was to drop dead on the floor
Would anyone come scoop him, would he be ignored?
Or maybe they would do,
Already he was dead to them, it was the truth
He felt sorry for the books
A corpse would never do them any good
The “gatemen” thoughts came back to him
“No, no way he didn't mean!”
“Oh, yes” she said, answering his silent question
He wished it was a joke, the job, the fuss, and tensions
It dawned on him, it all made sense
No wonder the relief of the old chap was so intense
It was his job, it was his calling
Death will not be so completely boring
One day he may get a memorial
His life might be someone’s tutorial
So anyways, he was the one here on the spot
He tried to stand upright, he hoped he looked somewhat hot
If something happened, nobody would miss him
A tiny hope that they would at some point release him
All the senses opened up to her
Sobriety, and fearlessness, that randomly occur
Collectedness sometimes appeared out of the blur
He took a breath, demanded what the problems were
They were all gone, they disappeared
Exactly what he feared
A place nobody spoke or thought about
A place nobody went nor even joked about
But anyways, there was a “why”
Her features now inspired much less fright
Ready to negotiate, oh, yes, he was
Explain, and serve, whatever else they chose
Among the gods, who would have thought?
But he still felt so caught
He felt in danger, scared and confined
This unpredictability and lack of time
The Gods of Paperwork, their strange attention
Although so flattering, induced severe hypertension
A newly found and felt importance here emerged
To win her - a determination also surged
Ears, eyes, they opened wide
Such eagerness, so hard to hide
“Relax” the husband said and so
though it was late, they were still standing in the main hall
“Ok” he said with hesitant determination
Although he noted her impatience
He felt his stomach rumble
“Could I have dinner first?” he asked a question humble
Awkward exchange of glances, silence
Approval materialising, and much needed guidance
“Tell me what to do and I will do it”
Ventured Albert, the Gatekeeper, so willing here to prove it
On his watch it all was done, they had insisted
He was guilty too, he had to be enlisted
In the search party of one
It was his job, and it had to be done
Of so many things he was unaware
“We will go slow” she said, amplified care
“We know that you are new and you don't know us”
We are the ones that you can trust, you can call us
The thing is, we cannot go there
This is the underworld, you just beware
The pass embedded is in your position
You are the chosen one, the one with mission
To protect, and care, for the books and papers
You are the one to fight invaders
Intruders, wicked thieves
destroy those intricate, deceiving webs of lies they weave
You are our first choice. we cannot do without you
Courage must be found inside you”
Astonishment resided on his face
How did he end up in this place?
This wasn't part of the job description
Why no information on such conscription?
Suddenly, a cloud of dust had risen
She was back yelling at her husband, “Listen”
Spots of muffled conversation
Thuds, and thumps, and booms they came, invasion
The sounds of pots and pans hitting the floor,
How did they end up in the library at all?
When he woke up, he just found
Random items lying spread around
Probably appearing from an unknown storage
Cleaning Friday night? He felt discouraged
All body parts seemed to be in place
In addition, large painful bump onto his face
He patted pockets various and searched
At some point he found himself on a shelf perched
But it was nowhere to be found
It had disappeared, no use to look around
Copyright ©thescribblerinthebooth