Invaluable Help

 


The echo of my thoughts

It scares me a lot 

It is amplified, it has become too loud

It has become a shadow - a dark cloud

There`s a mirror also, which reflects

My most attractive aspects it collects

It is not fair, no

There`s nothing I can do, just hope

That miracle would take place here

And save me from my own reflection, my disgrace, my fears

I have to hide behind closed doors

My war too devastating, I can still hear the guns` roars

They are injured yes, they will all be affected

Though I am afraid that I will be neglected 

Passed by, so ignored

This is good for you, my absence, though you will be bored

Of course, the ropes have been so tight on you

I`m still not a choice for you

You can tell me to my face

The truth though painful - it will be embraced

An accessory you resort to when there is no one there

When everyone is gone, when you`re so broke, that nobody would care

To think of you, or look at you or call you

When no one`s there to save you, when no one wants to know you

I would be there for you but I can`t provide the proper entertainment

As usual I should expect some kind of wee arraignment

Just go ahead, whatever!

I do not have another option, despite my all endeavours

I have resigned, it`s all the same to me

None of us wants to be here, I see

It doesn't matter if I have to once again

It doesn't matter if you mock my pain

It is your doing, it`s origins anyways

And those like you, who only exist to play

Making peace with it it`s what is wise

For suffering there is no prize

And this is what it is to me

You hold the mirror, it caught me

It drank my beauty and my strength

I`ve helped you carry it at such length

It is my doing too

It will be done soon

It will be done taking, drinking

It will show me my own sinking

Into the mire of eternal sorrow and regret

I shouldn`t have done that, what you`d say I bet

But I did, I helped you with the burden

We shared it, I ended up almost murdered

And I will end up so, you are just waiting

There is something left, you wouldn't leave it here to me

The process of downloading it`s not finished

You would just wait until my body lowly does diminish

You are impatient, in a hurry

Your pilgrimage is holy, so everything else to you is blurry

Just yours and no one else`s, I`m aware

Otherwise, it would not have been fair

And I accept, it is

You need to be appeased

It`s so important, you cannot delay or cancel

I am just an inexperienced and unimportant damsel

Distress? No way!

I`m in control, when you made me realise long ago one day

Whatever you say!

I`ll give it all to you, my strength, my wisdom, all of my days!

So you`d be strong, prepared and content

I`ll stretch myself to that extent

And even further, there`s a lot of me

Sometimes I feel like saying “we”

But it is not allowed

All these times the consequences made me vow

That I`d be me, and I, alone

I am not at all, I am not prone

To assuming, fantasising, though I used to

The consequences of this they, were infused to

The reality so grim, painted with despair

Then i knew it wasn't fair

It was never fair, I thought

This thought, and my reality, I never fought

There was shortage in whatever I required

If I staked my claims, it did backfire

You still stand there with the mirror which reflects

Anything good about me - still collects

I help you carry it around

I wish that I could smash it on the ground

Bad luck you say, I better wear the shroud

Of this thick fog, a dress of this grey cloud

It looks so good on me, it covers all my scars

My wounds and all the weapons sticking out, ours! 

I am afraid of being exposed

For quite some time here I`ve been posing

I will vanish soon - it will eat me up

I should encourage you “just don't give up!”

Copyright ©thescribblerinthebooth

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The Tea Party

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The Black Raven